... just gets in the way, and all these good words about daily vocab tests just come to nothing.

On Friday evening on the way to pay a flying visit to some old classmates, one of whom is returning to Japan with his family, my car conked out on the M4. I had to walk to the nearest emergency phone to pinpoint exactly where I was, and as I walked past the crash barrier my trouser leg caught on a sharp edge and ripped right open. Picture me, sat on the grass verge beside the motorway, trousers flapping open, looking very much the loser. Not a good evening.

Although I didn't think this at the time, if I'd had that experience in Japan, it would have been a brilliant learning opportunity. I could have practiced some great swear words. Learnt how to get a long with the blokes who drive emergency recovery vehicles. Negotiated with the insurance company over where they would take the car to. Found a garage the next day.

As it was, I had to do all this in stupid old English. I didn't learn a darn thing. Except perhaps that tearing your trousers open in public is not a good idea.